Alfie’s Rules for Life: A Mini Dachshund’s Guide to Being Fabulous

Rule #8 Never Accept a "Full Naming" Without Drama

We need to talk about something very serious.

Mum full-named me today.

Not “Alfie.” Not “Alf.” Not even “Alfinator.”

No—she hit me with “ALFRED ROWE.” (Dramatic pause.) 😲

So naturally, I turned away and ignored her. Stone cold. My little dachshund soul was crushed. I couldn't even look at her. Instead, I crawled into Dad’s lap with my saddest eyes and snuggled in like I had just been betrayed on national television. The heartbreak. The tragedy! 💔

The shattered trust.

But then… she kissed my face. Again. And again. And again.

And I’m not made of stone.

So, I forgave her. Obviously. Eventually.

The Lesson? Being fabulous sometimes means making them work for your forgiveness. But always let love win. Especially if it comes with kisses. And maybe a chicken treat.

With dignity (and a hint of drama),

🐾 Alfie

The real Alfie ignoring Mum after being "full named" for absolutely no reason!